just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
