I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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