I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
