Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
