I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
