Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
