i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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