I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
