Its about making memories worth repressing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
