I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
