dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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