I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
