My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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