I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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