Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
