I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drake has all the answers
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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