how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
