shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We're too hungover to prance.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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