Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize