fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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