I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
