I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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