My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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