i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You took a bar mat shot.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
