Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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