How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
