we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i think i just lost a toe
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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