at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My hand turned me down
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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