Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize