I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
