Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
