summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
