Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
