Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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