Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
only if we run a train.
done.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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