Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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