just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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