U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
