Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
