I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize