I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she pinky promised me she was 18
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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