going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
