Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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