"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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