I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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