I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
