She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
