dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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