He asked me if I "almost moaned"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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