I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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