Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
