He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
