What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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