never play flip cup with pint glasses
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
