i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
