direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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