I cannot find my penis.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
