you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
