You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
