Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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