Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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