I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
