I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize