I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
