dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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