I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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